The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Earth is a wholly remarkable book. Similar to its galactic counter-part, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, both are unbelievably well selling. After the immediate success of the HHGttG, and after the sad, but profitable destruction of Earth, one question was asked. “What exactly is Earth? Why are these people so moronic?” And the ultimate question, “What’s the fuss over those stupid digital watches?” So the HHGttG headquarters sent over it’s finest field researchers order to figure out, “Just who are these Earthlings, anyway?” For those who never read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, (whoever those people may be) here is a quick catch-up. The HHGttG is a wholly remarkable book. It is more best-selling than Survival to a Fake Ghetto Society, How to Succeed in Business While Attempting to Assassinate Your Boss, and even better than Klinto Keaten’s wildly renowned novel, The Pride, Prejudice, and a Small Lump of Yellow Putty Found Under My Mistress’ Armpit. Even though The Encyclopedia Galactica gives money to several renowned and respected charities, The HHGttG is of course better than The Encyclopedia Galactica for several reasons. One, it is slightly cheaper, and secondly the HHGttG and the HHGttE have the words, “Don’t Panic” inscribed on the back cover in large, friendly letters. So while the new guide may take a while to compile, here is the first Universal copy of, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Earth. The best way to start off this guide is to describe Earth in great detail.
EARTH:
Mostly Harmless
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